Where we're told the importance of pelvic floor exercises and receive a video bribe
After reading the last two Big Fat Bribe blog posts, you may have noticed a recurring theme of a sexual nature. 'It's just a phase', we thought, 'surely a piñata full of sex toys will be the end of such filthy bribe behaviour'. But turns out, we were wrong.
Sandra Hale sent us a box containing her 'hopes and dreams for a good Fringe'; condoms, lube and a pamphlet stating the importance of pelvic floor exercises. Inside the box was also a copy of her book that's under the same name as her show, Self-Helpless, which she wrote hoping to advance her career. This is Hale's first solo comedy show after working in entertainment for around 50 years and is a chance to hear her formula for attention, success and getting people to like you. Self-Helpless is on at Just the Tonic at the Caves from Thu 3–Sat 26 Aug.
The team behind Brutal Cessation sent us a shiny watermelon box full of Jamie Laing's watermelon sour Candy Kittens sweeties; an example of a simple yet effective edible bribe, which we very much encourage. The watermelon gifts represent their play which explores violence in relationships, expectations of gender and what happens when couples fall out of love but refuse to let go. You can watch Brutal Cessation, written by Milly Thomas and directed by Bethany Pitts, at Assembly George Square from Thu 3–Mon 28 Aug.
When Seven Crazy Bitchestagged us in a twitter post with a video of Holly Morgan (The Diva on a Budget) singing Lionel Richie's 'Hello', we were curious as to what the rest of the bribe would bring. A couple of days later, a parcel containing a polystyrene mannequin head apparently resembling William Shakespeare, arrived at the office. The show is Holly's take on Shakespeare's 'Seven Ages of a Man', where she uses seduction techniques from Kate Bush and an interview with the woman who lived in Prince's head to guide the audience through the 'Seven Ages of Woman', with the help of Shakespeare himself. Watch Seven Crazy Bitches at Assembly Hall from Thu 3–Sun 27 Aug.
For now, we're well equipped with condoms, lube and every sex toy imaginable so if you're performing at the Fringe and have been inspired to send us something in exchange for coverage, then please do, but let's keep it clean.
The Keeper of the Bribes The List Tweeddale Court 14 High Street Edinburgh EH1 1TE
Sandra Hale Self Helpless! is a show filled with insights that will help you get through life, providing you have good looks, no opinions and can tap dance. Sandra Hale is a self-help guru like no other. In fact, she’s no guru at all. She’s survived. That’s enough. We can't all be confident, moralistic and principled, so…
Michelle Barnette Productions Limited 'I have fantasies… I lead you to a table… and I hurt you.' A relationship. A relationship rotting. Purgatory. Is having no reason to stay a reason to leave? At what point does the abuser become the abused? And why aren't we more afraid of women? Two actors, one couple, swapping roles.
Join the Diva on a budget as she guides you through the Seven Ages of Woman. Pit stops include seduction via Kate Bush, an interview with the woman who lived in Prince's head, and finding out how many two pence pieces a man can insert up his foreskin. This is standing up cabaret on a budget as you've never seen it before.