Big Fat Bribe: the highlight of our Day (Doris Day)
In which two women clad in grey come and polish our monitors (oh, madam)
This article is from 2016.
According to a flyer that was given to us when two strange women burst into our office, 'in 1924, Persephone Baker is planning her coming-out ball at the Dorchester when she finds herself abandoned at St Dymphna's Hospital for the "Criminally Insane" with only unhinged "cigar smoking monomaniac transexual Dora Kirson" to keep her company.' We've all been there.
Turns out, it was Persephone and Dora who gave us the flyer. They've not aged a day since the mid 20s, and they were pretty keen to tell us all about a show called Airswimming, which tells their story of friendship, fantasy and freedom. Now, we have a sneaking suspicion that the two ladies in our office at this time were actually actresses promoting a Fringe show, and not time travelling apparitions, but we heard them out nonetheless. We're good like that.
It also helped that they came in with a couple of rags and started polishing our computer monitors. It's the Fringe, you know? We've let the office cleaning rota get a bit out of hand. Everything's covered in dust. There are wrinkled up flyers everywhere. There's something in the corner that could be a heap of old issues, or it could be the body of the News Editor, dishevelled from lack of sleep, munching on those expired twinkies someone sent us weeks ago in a desperate bid for nourishment. Either way, a once-over with a duster did this place the world of good.
If you've been planning to send us a bribe and you haven't gotten round to it yet, tick tock. Time is of the essence.
Send it to:
The Keeper of the Bribes
14 High Street
Remember the rules, though: nothing sexual, monetary or disgusting.
Airswimming, run ended.
Check out other bribes we've received on our Big Fat Bribe Blog.