Big Fat Bribe Blog: Cleaning Up

Kirstyn Smith
16 July 2015

This article is from 2015.

In which we see a little less dirty money and a little more nostril

In a delightful change from all previous dirty, dirty bribes, this week we’ve received one of the most aesthetically-pleasing (and hygienic) gifts we could have hoped for.

The nice folks at Peacetime Productions really pushed the boat (or the bath) out in hope of getting the word out about their Fringe show Scour. And in keeping with the cleanly nature of the show, they only went and created some personalised soap with the puntastic: ‘Was’soap The List?’

Well, if there’s two things we’ve always said we love, it’s bathing and bad puns. The accompanying note reads: ‘Bribing is a dirty business, so we’ve sent you something to help clean you up’ (they know us so well), and it was all packed into a proper snazzy sequined shower cap.

If you fancy cleansing your soul, you could do worse than checking out Scour at Clouds & Soil at 2.15pm. It’s ‘a one-man play about the true value of life, and the lengths we go to when protecting the ones we love’ starring Josh Considine, who enjoys rehearsing in a towel. Just sayin’. And it's written by Rebecca Monks who, in a truly dirty move, may also write for a certain bribe-procuring publication (as in us. The List). Hey, girl's got to make a living.

In more terrifying bribe news, our next offering came with the description: ‘the perfect gift for the person who has everything (apart from nightmares).’ Once we’d gingerly read on, it turns out James Ross wasn’t wrong. What can only be described as ‘horror printed on a tea towel’ was waiting for us. No offence James love, but I think it’s safe to say you weren’t going for your best angle when you decided to take this particular photo.

Nevertheless, his dastardly plan intrigued us into checking out what he has to offer. Turns out, it’s a lot less scary. Ross’ show, Leopardoptera, is described as: ‘Charming moustachioed comedian WLTM audience with GSOH for fun, maybe more.’ Sounds quite pleasant when you put it like that. He says it’s for people who’ve enjoyed reading a book without pictures – a quick poll of the office revealed that most of us have done that. You probably have too. What’s not to enjoy (except those nostrils)? Go on, you can have a swatch at the Globe Bar at 4.45pm.

As the Fringe draws ever closer, these bribes are one of the things keeping us from breakdown, so please keep them coming. You could save a journalist’s life.