Big Fat Bribe Blog 2015: don’t let the bells end

This article is from 2015

Big Fat Bribe Blog 2015: don’t let the bells end

Oranges for all!

In which we aim to avoid electrocution, while gorging on oranges and Turkish delight

If there’s one thing every office needs in the run-up to its busiest month of the year, it’s a loud novelty bell to play with. Thankfully, the people behind Fringe show Twonkey’s Stinking Bishop anticipated that we at The List were somehow missing this staple, and immediately sought to rectify this wrong.

Last week, we received the dinger along with this zinger: ‘Every time you ring this bell, a member of staff at The List will be electrocuted at random until you send someone to review Twonkey’s Stinking Bishop.’

In keeping with the style and tone of the cherubic bribe he sent us last year, Mr Twonkey delivered his troubling message by way of biro - though the menacing factor could have been significantly improved with the use of cut out letters from magazines. That being said, we appreciated the general effort, if not the tone, and may the bell never end.

If you want to spare us from being shocked and fried, you could go and see Mr Twonkey at 9pm, Sweet Grassmarket. It’s described as ‘a show about being sacked from Looney Tunes during a purple patch’, so it’s something everyone can relate to.

In other bribe news, the risk of us collectively getting scurvy was dramatically reduced by Nell Gwyn (aka actress Laura Ingram). Us Sirs and Ladies of the Office got a 17th-century treat in the form of a basket of oranges. Lest we be harsh and condemn the maid back to Orange Wenching (whatever that is), we’ll just say this – Nell Gwyn: An Epilogue tells the story of the Restoration-era actress’ relationship with her overbearing manager and former lover. It’s on at Sweet Venues at 16:55.

If you’re keen to send us some goodies but are struggling for inspiration, you’re not alone. This taxidermy fox puppet – who happens to be the star of the Underbelly show Sing for Your Life – is torn between sending us some leaves or chicken bones. Sorry to disappoint you buddy, but we just had old leaf and chicken bone soup for lunch. Nice camera skills, though, especially considering that stuffed omnivorous mammals typically don’t have opposable thumbs.

Keep the bribes coming, folks. Let us know it’s on the way by tweeting us at @thelistmagazine using #BigFatBribe, then post to

Big Fat Bribe
The List
14 Tweddale Court

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Twonkey's Stinking Bishop

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