My Edinburgh: comedian Simon Munnery gives us his guide to the capital during the Fringe 2014

This article is from 2014.

Photo: Edward Moore

My first Edinburgh Festival experience was …
Losing my cherry up Arthur’s Seat. Every year I go back to look for it.

Edinburgh’s unique selling point is …
It’s very handy for the M8.

I am likely to be found …
Because I am terrible at hiding. That doesn’t stop me trying though, and nor should it you. Hide from the authorities, because one day you might need to.

My favourite place to eat is …
The Square on North St Andrew Street, next to the Stand. I have dish of the day, or the delicious lentil & bacon soup. There are carrots in it – and they don’t even mention that.

My favourite place to drink is …
Lord Bodo’s, opposite the Stand. [Ed: At the moment Lord Bodo's is closed for renovation – we hope it opens again soon]

Best spot to get away from the festival madness …
Lord Bodo’s, opposite the Stand.

Edinburgh’s little-known gem is …
Lord Bodo’s, opposite the Stand. It’s a proper pub, with locals. And beer. And lovely staff. And if you stand in the right spot it rains even on sunny days.

Make sure you see…
Portobello beach; there’s something about an ocean horizon that cleanses the mind. And the sea cleanses your feet. Double win.

The best thing about the Edinburgh Festival is …
Its sheer size. It is uncriticisably huge.

The worst thing about the Edinburgh Festival is …
Its sheer size. It dwarfs us all.

One day I will …
Put on a show at dawn. It is the great unused time slot.

Simon Munnery Sings Soren Kierkegaard, The Stand, 1–25 Aug (not 11), 3.55pm, £9–£10 (£8–£9); Fylm School, Assembly Rooms, 4 Aug, 6pm, £10; Simon Munnery also appears in A Slight Ache, Pleasance Courtyard, 30 Jul–25 Aug, 12.45pm, £6–£9 (£6–£8).