Return of the Lumberjacks reunites three Canadian comics

Glenn Wool, Craig Campbell and Stewart Francis at 2012 Edinburgh Fringe

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This article is from 2012.

Three Canadian comedians at 2012 Edinburgh Fringe

Fifteen Fringes ago, an unknown trio called The Lumberjacks played a tiny Edinburgh room. Nowadays, one of them is really famous, but all three remain very funny. As they collaborate once more, the boys answer some questions about themselves and the wider human community

Glenn Wool

What’s the best thing about working with Craig Campbell?
The complimentary massages.

Tell us one thing that might surprise the world about Stewart Francis?
How easy it is to trick him out of his massage vouchers.

Tell us your favourite joke about Canadians
Q: How do you get 100 Canadians out of a pool?
A: You tell them that Stephen Harper’s government scientists have checked it for pollution, and in their professional opinion, it’s perfectly safe.

Which comedian (either retired or dead) would you like to see make a return to the stage?
If I had to choose between the two, I’d have to say, ‘retired’.

Complete this sentence: I’m a lumberjack …
… and due to soft lumber tariffs, I drink a lot and work part-time at my brother-in-law’s security company.

Craig Campbell

What’s the best thing about working with Stewart Francis?
He lets me eat all the meat he drops!!

Tell us one thing that might surprise the world about Glenn Wool?
His baby-maker tastes like Turkish Delight!! (‘Don’t ask me how I know that,’ he said annoyingly slowly in a deep voice while over-exaggeratedly winking. ‘A little bird told me,’ still winking, still excessively. ‘Quite a good-sized bird, actually,’ winking running out of steam now, looking laboured and slightly more like a twitch and not in that good twitchy way that sometimes slays the ladies either. The damn trickster pushed it up through a brown paper bag and other adults at the BBQ told me it was a mushroom, boy did I feel tricked!. It fell in my mouth when we were fighting-ish. Well, it fell near my mouth when we were fighting/hugging and curiosity made me move my head. I was worried he was dead and thought a l’il peck/gnashing might bring him back. Didn’t think the videographer was going to show everyone; feels pretty awkward now). So, anyway, yah, the ol’ Turkey-D; well, granted it’s a tangy Turkey-D and you might have to swish it around a bit to look for it before you find it but deffo some Turkey-D lingers on the palate.

Tell us your favourite joke about Canadians
Q: What’s the fastest way to get 100 Canadians out of a swimming pool?
A: Ask them to please get out of the swimming pool.

Which comedian (either retired or dead) would you like to see make a return to the stage?
George Carlin. He was hilariously funny and the points his comedy illuminated become more relevant with each passing day.

Complete this sentence: I’m a lumberjack …
… and the increasing quantity and quality of building materials created from recycled plastics is putting a death-squeeze on my future viability faster than you can say ‘If Carpal tunnel syndrome doesn’t get me first!’

Stewart Francis

What’s the best thing about working with Glenn Wool?
The comfort in knowing that I won’t be the least funny.

Tell us one thing that might surprise the world about Craig Campbell?
That she’s … oh no, I’ve said too much.

Tell us your favourite joke about Canadians
Q: Why are Canadians so mysterious?
A:

Which comedian (either retired or dead) would you like to see make a return to the stage?
A dead one because the press coverage would be huge.

Complete this sentence: I’m a lumberjack …
… is there anything that you need cut down or chopped up?

Return of the Lumberjacks, Assembly Rooms, 0844 693 3008, 3–26 Aug (not 13, 20), 8.10pm, £15 (£12). Preview 2 Aug, £14 (£11).

This article is from 2012.

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Surreal free-thinking and spot-on one-liners from the Canadian stand-up.

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