Interview: Bridget Christie - First and last
Surrealist comedian on Buckingham Palace, Pot Noodle and outwitting your children
This article is from 2012.
First record you ever bought
How old are you? Do you mean my first CD?
Last extravagant purchase you made
First film you saw that really moved you
Last lie you told
That the first film I saw that really moved me was Watership Down.
First movie you ever went on a date to
Last time you cried
39 years ago.
First thing you do when you’ve got time off work
Scrub the toilet and wash the bins.
Last great meal you cooked
Last book you read
The Book of Roundabouts.
First great piece of advice you were given
Don’t eat yellow snow.
Last time you were star struck
The nice one from How Clean is Your House was in my local fruit and veg shop. I was holding a huge melon when I saw her. Good job I didn’t drop it on my foot.
First thing you’d do if you ran the country
Make my cat my deputy.
Last meal on earth – what would it be
Last meal on earth? Where am I going? Depending on where I’m going, I would have whatever I couldn’t get there.
First song you’ll sing at karaoke
I will never sing again, either privately or publicly.
Last time you exploited your position to get something
Once I was seated near a shelf that had some sweets on it, and I took one. Is that the sort of position you mean?
First time you realised you were famous
Have I been sent the right Q&A? Do you know who I am? No. There you go then.
Last time someone criticised your work
First three words your friends would use to describe you
Smelly. Boring. Idiot.
Last time you made an impulse buy and regretted it
An unidentified fish thing in an Italian restaurant. I was nearly sick.
First concert you ever attended
Johann Sebastian Bach in Gloucester. He was really old and rapping. It was really embarrassing.
Last time you bought someone flowers
First object you’d save from your burning home
The front door.
Last funny thing you saw online
A cricket sketch. I can’t remember who they were but my heart sang when I watched it.
Last person you fantasised about
Jeremy Hunt. But not in the way you think.
First word you spoke
Last crime you committed
First song at your (potential) wedding
Am I getting divorced? Do you know something I don’t?
Last song at your funeral
The Birdie Song.
First person you’d thank in an award acceptance speech
The person who handed it to me.
Last thing you recommended to someone
First thing you think of when you wake up in the morning
Haha! I won. Children are idiots.
Last thing you think of before you go to sleep
This is a brilliant hiding place. They’ll never find me here.
Bridget Christie performs her new show War Donkey at The Goose, Falkirk, Mon 30 Jul (as part of Funny in Falkirk), and at the Assembly Rooms, Edinburgh, Tue 1 Aug (as a preview of her Fringe run).