The House of the Grape (2 stars)

This article is from 2008.

'People just look at the star rating,' says Patrick when his French café gets a one-star review. 'They don't read in between the lines.' Like the restaurant, which he tries in vain to save from ruin, this play is unsalvageable. Lifeless and irritating, it's derailed by a clunking script. Even the charming posters adoring the walls of Petit Paris, and the smells emanating from its kitchen do little to save this sprawling mess.

Petit Paris, Queensferry Street, 226 1890, until 24 Aug, times vary, £6–£7 (£4–£5).

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