Interpretive Dances to My Diary! (72% Non-Fiction)

Fancy spending time with two red boiler-suited Americans called Ryan who love to let themselves go? Maybe your partner will be led onstage to get tongued by tall Ryan while smaller Ryan giggles at their sheer daring? All in the name of a ‘surreal’ ‘story’ about the kind of things people tell their diaries. Subtitled ‘72% Non-Fiction’, this is 100% total cobblers.

Gilded Balloon Teviot, 622 6552, until 27 Aug, 11.30pm, £8–£9 (£7).