Andrew Bird

‘I have nothing for you,’ states Bird at the opening of his act, in disappointingly prophetic fashion. The next hour drags on with reasons why he isn’t a ‘lad’ and the funny things his wife says. Like being beaten with a roll of toilet paper, Bird is harmless enough but it’s probably not how you would choose to spend your evening.

Pleasance Dome, 556 6550, until 29 Aug (not 17), 8.45pm, £8–£9.50 (£7–£8.50).